and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am available for nakedness
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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