You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
