...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
