Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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