She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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