I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nutella sex= disaster
my shit smells like andre
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sext me about skeletons
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
