Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
