You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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