at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
