Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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