What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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