the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
