yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
