I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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