I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
