whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
