I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
