I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
