My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
