Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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