A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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