textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
