just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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