this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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