you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
