This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize