I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize