hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
