i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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