i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
