i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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