Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So much Jack, so little girl.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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