My hand turned me down
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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