the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
