SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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