wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
