yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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