We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
