Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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