get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
