I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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