I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
