i think my mom watched the whole time
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
