i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
