party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
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