dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
