Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
