Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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