My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
