No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
