Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
