He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
FUCK WHALES
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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