I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
