Pappa wants mamma naked
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
