I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize